When you married and moved in with your significant other, you promised to take care of and be with each other, no matter what. You know: “I vow to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death.” But, maybe the vows of marriage skipped a very important milestone: renovating your house.
A house doesn’t always stay new; time passes and some things get outdated. Home renovation is then very important as old things need to be updated for better and more comfortable living. And, having extra space or extra comfort is not a bad idea. Moreover, to avoid boredom, people need a change in the surroundings.
Home renovation, however, includes tearing down things, turning the house upside down and addressing major changes that can be costly and stressful. During this phase, it becomes then necessary to be on the same side as your spouse in order to avoid bickering over every detail. Now, that’s what I call challenging.
Sure, there are some pretty common topics that are known for causing arguments, but it’s surprising how a home renovation can cause challenging hurdles to a couple. In fact, a divorce lawyer claimed that he saw more divorces over renovation projects than from extramarital affairs.
On rating renovation projects on a scale of 1 to 10, most family therapists voted a “6” in terms of stress. And, Dr. Judy, a triple board-certified neurophysiologist, explains why remodeling projects can take a toll on relationships.
“Homes are people’s personal retreat, a type of sanctuary and their basis for safety. It’s completely normal for remodeling projects to affect a couple or a family as its high emotional stakes on both sides.”
So, if you want to remodel your house and stay married until the end, try to follow these tips.
Get Your Spouse Consent
When you get married, you enter an official partnership, which means that there will now be lots of things that you won’t be able to decide on your own.
Of course, you are also still an individual and there are things that you should keep separate. But major things that can affect the two people living in the house like a home renovation, should be discussed with your spouse. You can’t, for example, decide to remodel your entire bedroom and not discuss it with your spouse; it’ll be disrespectful.
So, if you want to remodel your kitchen or bathroom, you need to include your spouse in the decision-making process.
Understand the Need for Remodeling
It is very common in every house that one spouse ends up making almost all the decisions. Sometimes, it’s absolutely fine, but the problem arises when a couple is not compatible at all and doesn’t agree with each other’s choices.
Maybe you told your spouse about wanting to remodel the house but the latter didn’t agree with you. Or, maybe he/she didn’t see the need to remodel a house.
Remodeling is a choice, but sometimes it’s a must and in that case, it is important to make your spouse understand the need to renovate your house. Talk about the whys – why you should remodel the kitchen, why you should repair the air conditioning unit, why you should replace the plumbing pipes and so on.
Homeowners don’t renovate their homes only to increase their value in the future, but also to accomplish their own versions of a home-sweet-home.
Maybe you want to take the old house down and convert it into your ideal dream house. However, it is important for your spouse to want the same dream.
Your idea for the dream bedroom, for example, might include something simple and minimalist while your husband dreams of something bigger and more sophisticated.
You see, this small difference can create huge disagreements between you and your spouse. So, before deciding on the type of flooring, paint or light fixtures, make sure you both have a similar version of a dream home.